The Art of Mothering

As mothers of younger children, we’ve often made the statement, “I can’t wait until they get older!” It’s as if we think our maternal instincts will come to a screeching halt once they reach a certain age. But as time goes by, the realization that this is not the case becomes a permanent reality. We come to the understanding that a mother’s love is a never ending cycle that cannot be replaced and can only be released by a true “mom.” Just recently the devastating news of one of our 19 year old students committing suicide, struck me to the core. My heart grieved for her mother, as my own thoughts about my children entered my mind. Thoughts like, how on earth would I be able to handle such news if it were my own daughter? Or, how did I miss the signs of her reaching out – her cries for help? And then of course, the overwhelming sense of guilt and feeling that perhaps she would still be alive, if only I had……. So you see, through the good and the bad; the ups and the downs; the blood sweat and lord knows those tears, our children need us. In the midst of their cries of “I got this!” or “I’m grown!” they still need what only we can give. Perhaps not in the same way as they grow older and more mature, but always in a way that only a mother can provide by way of touch, healthy listening and constant care that drives them to purpose. Our love cannot be replaced. That’s why, this Mother's Day, after you have received your much deserved honor; your cards, gifts and all those hugs and kisses, you must decide not to ever turn in your “mom’s” badge. Always wear it with pride and with the quiet understanding that you are indeed mastering the art of mothering! Happy Mother’s Day!

What Are You Releasing in the New Year?

Another year has passed again already! How quickly these years are flying by, especially as you get older (smile). Like every human being on December 31st at 11:59pm, we made every decision in the book to make life different in 2011. By February, half the vows we made to ourselves or to those who dared to listen to us will probably not happen in 2011.

But if there is just ONE thing we can determine to do, we can determine to release offense in our lives. We can determine not to live our lives attached to our hurts or to those who may have hurt us. Having lived long enough, I realize that I have offended people, as much as, people offended me. However, if I keep holding the offense then I can never move ahead to accept all that my future has for me. The sadder moment is that I stayed trapped, while the one who may have offended me moves on in life. What in the world!

So this past New Year's Eve, I determined to live my life offense free! I realize I will get offended, but I don't have to be trapped in the offense! I am not willing to give up all that lays ahead of me because of an individual. My life is more valuable than that. So today, make a decision to let go of past offenses. You may not follow through with a diet or shedding of those unwanted pounds that you vowed on December 31st, but you can make a decision to move beyond those things that keep you trapped and keep you from moving forward.

A little secret it is not the diet that helps us shed the pounds, but it is a change of a lifestyle and way of thinking. Let's change our way of thinking about offenses and move forward in getting the best results out of our lives.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas to All & To All A Goodnight!

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. As a child, living in the projects of Massachusetts, my parents always made holidays special for seven children. If it was standing in a line to get a box of free toys from Globe Santa or cashing in S&H green stamps to have gifts under a tree, every moment was wrapped with love. Filling our air with baked goods helped us feel as special as any other child. Now being a mother of five my husband and I have begun making our own memories for the last 28 years. Leaving a legacy of love, laughter and joy in the air as we gathered around the tree and share stories and laugh at the Muppets Christmas Carol and The Christmas Story ( just to name a few) meant so much to us. For this holiday season make the moments count- bake some cookies, make a hot cider drink relax with family and friends and laugh your head off! These moments are free! Don't let the thoughts of a recession rob you of these moments! Make the decision to rejoice in the season!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

Successful Leaders Move Beyond Barriers!

I am now in my 6th day in India teaching a group of remarkable people in the Northern territory of India.

From October 12th through the 15th I was in Delhi and I had an opportunity to see the history of the nation through many historical landmarks like forts, historical monuments and the number one wonder of the world--the Taj Mahal. What a rich reflection of heritage in some areas and such heart wrenching poverty in other parts of the country. As a leader I realized periodically it is good for me to go abroad to give myself to a people who can't give back to me. Living eleven days out of my own comfort zone to get a better appreciation for what life is really about helps me to understand a larger spectrum of issues in this world. Leaders, isn't this what we are really called to do instead of being at ease in Zion? Stay posted as I share more on the subject on this missionary journey. I have more days to go:)

Preparing for legacy,

Lady J

The Inception of a Dream

I know many of you might have recently saw the hit blockbuster "Inception. " Well needless to say I left speechless knowing how with a few technology experts, others can share your dreams. My husband brought it to my attention that usually in every dream there is always someone else in there with you, whether you want them there or not. Obviously then a dream is not just for you, but for you to share with others. You know those dreams you decided to push aside thinking no one really cares? Well someone does. God always intended for you to share your dreams and for them to not only be a blessing to you, but for others also. Ask Joseph in the Bible. His dream was not only for him or his family, but for a whole nation! Can you even picture your dream turning a whole nation right side up? Begin to believe it and don't let intruders intercept your inception. Want a place to fertilize your dream? Meet me at my Women's Conference, September 15-19 2010. Check our website http://www.crcglobal/ for more details. Listen... don't take your dreams to the grave, or else no one will be able to benefit from them.

Where are the Men?

I never thought the moment would come so quickly that I would be sitting in a new student orientation for the youngest son of my loins at North Carolina A&T.

As my husband and I walked from building to building in the scorching heat of 97 degrees, we felt like rotisserie chickens cooking! We huffed and puffed our silent parental love and commitment to our children. We rearranged our busy schedules to drive 4 hours, with one eye open and one eye closed to sit in new student lecture #5 from president and faculty. Why? Because it us our parental responsibility to the successful future of our children. One of my disturbing observations as I perused the audience over my 2nd day visit was that there was only 10 adult men in attendance. Where were the fathers, uncles, grandfathers or big brothers?

Were they just working? Were they AWOL in the child's life? Was the sacrifice worth it? A moment of a lifetime for your daughter and or for your son. When does the cycle of absenteeism stop! If our sons and daughters make it thus far in their education, should we not jump into the journey with them? When My husband and I counted this cost for the fifth time and after taking big gulps of water I asked myself, "what is a little heat?" After flopping into the hotel bed, "what is a little lack of sleep?" At the end of the day, the rewards are priceless! This is a clarion call to all fathers, big brothers, uncles and grandfathers, it's time to make a difference and make it difficult for our children to fail.

From Black & White to Color

Everybody who knows me understands my deep passion for Turner Classic Movies. My husband always tells me that television is now in “color” and that I don’t always have to watch television in black and white. However, there is something about the movie scripts of those old classics that help me to remember how life used to be when it came to loyalty, friendship, dedication and family values.

Oh, I know that there was some behind the scenes discontent in people’s lives and what we always saw was not always what was portrayed. But my friend, in “full Technicolor” gone are the days of what it meant to be true to one’s self, devotion and family morals.

In Technicolor we are smeared with wife/husband swapping shows, no loyalty in friendships and huge amounts of disrespect for life. No wonder our news is filled with heavy percentages of divorce, kids emotionally abusing other kids and no respect for life. Gone are the days when we tried to play these characteristics down in black and white. Everyone wants “Technicolor”. It looks better in color!

Some of us thought of Audrey Hepburn as the epitome of beauty and poise, now we have Lady Gaga because she has more color pizzaz! Now our devotion is to try to live out colorful reality shows, just to come to the conclusion that it is what it is-- just a “show”.

Realistically, I know we can’t go back to yesterday and only some of us will be committed black and white die hards. There are many great attributes to embrace in the “now” however, we can’t let the color blind us from being loyal in our families, learning how to get along with other people and holding a healthy respect for life.